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Go west middle-aged broad – Day 7

August 14, 2011 by Lori Leave a Comment

Morning on day 7 came with very little fanfare. Animals are very keen to changes in the karma around them. She had stopped eating last night so this morning’s walk was quick and easy.

Trunk repacked for the last time. At this point it was taking mere moments as compared to the chore it had been at the start of the trip. Car gassed up, bad pastries and coffee purchased and we were on our way.

Goodbye Elko.

According to the on board navigation we had 525 miles and 8 hours left of our trip. We needed to get in to Fremont tonight, even against the husband’s protestations of arriving to the new house on Friday the 13^th. Bad luck had already reared its head; I didn’t care about the bad omen possibilities now.

The air beds I had been transporting across the country would be our mattresses until we could go shopping for new ones. My king size had been 20 years old and moving was as good an excuse as any to finally get a new one. The kid’s bed was also sent to the curb before we moved, having been used as a trampoline for 6 years, I felt it best to let it die a nice comfortable death in a landfill.

The thought of having to sleep on an air bed tonight was really a nail in the coffin of the sorrow I was feeling. Already feeling melancholy I wasn’t looking forward to arriving in California now, and the thought of sleeping on the floor increased that feeling.

The ride through Nevada was pretty plain Jane compared to the sights we had seen so far. Just dry barren mountains and sand.

We stopped at a rest stop in Winnemuca where the Humboldt River crosses. It is part of the old California Trail system. Trying to get the dog to at least take some water here was a chore. It was at least since we stopped last night that she had taken water. This was all affecting her badly.

Further along on our trip on the California Trail we spotted a sign we may have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque, or at the very least, Mars.

After passing through Reno, the quickie divorce capital of the USA, we head toward the NV/CA border. It was bumper to bumper traffic all the way into California and up to the agriculture check point.

Hello California! We were lucky to get a shot at all, as the bumper to bumper was caused by construction which at the very moment we were trying to take our “welcome to…” picture, started to move and we were serenaded by car horns.

The checkpoint was different for me. They actually come up to your car and quiz you on what you are bringing in to the state. Did you have fruits, vegetables, plants, where did you start your trip, and why are you coming to California?

I was in one of those states of mind that if she had said words other than “Welcome to California, enjoy your stay”, I was going to go Jersey on her. I was in absolutely no mood for anyone’s bull and just wanted to get to my destination so I could relax on a floor. The dog not eating or drinking was worrying me and I wanted to get J out of the car so she could get some rest before having to take red-eye flights back across the country that would make her change planes twice and not afford much sleep.

The Sierra’s are a very pretty area to drive through. We got to see the truck scales on Route 80 that are the stop point when there is heavy snow. J works for an East coast trucking company whose trucks always get stopped here and she frequently gets on the internet to see the cameras that stream the views.

We pass through Truckee and across the famous Donner Pass. Table for 3 anyone?

Now we make our way down out of the Sierras toward Sacramento. There are cut outs in the side of the road every few miles. They are labeled “Runaway Truck Ramps”, and we found this a novel idea.

Approaching the Sacramento area we are again in bumper to bumper traffic. It afforded me the chance to snap a picture of this guy on the side of the road. I wonder how many people whizz by this guy every day and never notice him.

Approaching the bridges that cross the eastern part of the bay, we decided to cross the Martinez bridge and come down the more scenic valley on Route 680 than take Route 80 around Oakland and the traffic at what is now a Friday rush hour. Driving through Walnut Creek and Pleasant Hill into Dublin before crossing east on Route 580 and through Dublin toward Route 880 south we are struck by how pretty the whole area is.

Mountains on all sides, homes with amazing views littering the sides of the mountains, but cars, lots and lots of cars on the highway. I wonder if this is all the time or just on Friday afternoons during rush hour.

We finally make our way down Route 880 south and pull of the highway in to Fremont. The sign on the side of the highway when you enter Fremont tells you that you are 57 feet above sea level here. A big change from 8391 feet at the Continental Divide just two days ago.

Half a block from the house, the kid proclaims loudly he has to pee, NOW! Finally pulling in to the driveway of the new house, and seeing his dad for the first time in a month, he rushes past him to find a bathroom. He has officially christened the new house. If that wasn’t proof of christening, the dog gets out and promptly throws up.

Welcome to California!

After hosing down the dog’s welcome gift, real welcome hugs all around are dispensed. The better half has the look of the Cheshire cat on his face and can’t wait to take us on a tour of the place. He must be terrible at poker, we knew something was up by looking at him, but had no idea of the wonderful surprises that waited.

Walking around the empty first floor, I felt badly. He has been spending time in an echo chamber for two weeks, no furniture, and no family, not even a place to sit down and eat a lonely meal. Playing tour guide, he brings us to the second floor.

He walks us in to the master bedroom and lo and behold, there is a brand new king sized bed waiting for us! Walking in to the kid’s room, there was a brand new full-sized bed waiting for him. Gone were the thoughts of going to find a hotel room for the night to allow J to get a decent rest before having to return east. He is a wonderful guy! He gets extra big hugs for that!

We get to the unpacking of the trunk. Oh yeah, those air beds I lugged across the country, not needed now, so they were stowed right into the garage storage space.

The duct tape, scissors, flashlights, and bug spray come out and get put away, thankfully not needed but comforted by the thought they were with us. Duffel bags of clothes, bags of toiletries/medicines/first aid supplies, bags of snacks, bottles of water, rolls of paper towelling, all the things we just couldn’t live without for 7 days on the road.

Some bad fast food and much-needed showers later we were all ready to not so much turn in for the night as pass out. Dog was finally eating again, now that she had her whole family back together. Kid had his brand new big kid bed, no more twin size for him.

All in all, we had a good trip across this beautiful country of ours. We left the safety and security of the known and ventured out beyond our comfort zone and had some fun despite our fears. The kid learned to be more spontaneous. We all learned of the grandeur of the heartland. We were blessed by the kindness of strangers. We learned that sometimes goodbye really is and that life is precious and fleeting. We also learned that old sayings really are true.

There is no place like home and that; home is where you hang your hat.

Go west middle-aged broad – Day 6

August 12, 2011 by Lori Leave a Comment

“Gimme back my filet-o-fish, gimme that fish, ooooh”

Yes, the kid picked today’s wake up song too. Grabbing the dog’s leash, I head out the door of the Bull Moose Saloon & Inn for her morning walk. Thankfully I had a camera on hand.

Waking up that day 40 miles south of Grand Teton National Park, I knew there were going to be sights to be had, but I had never imagined waking up to this.

Couldn’t forget to take pictures of our middle of the night find of a motel. Notice the board, they must have known we were coming. How do you not stop here, discount beer, liquor, wine, food, lodging AND entertainment? I joke, but I am thankful for the kind woman behind the desk and her generosity that night.

Pictures taken, car packed, batteries purchased for the car alarm key fob that decided to stop working, tank full of gas and we are on the road. We are bound and determined to find a way out of Wyoming. It was nice, but two days in any state is my limit.

Sights from Afton, Wyoming. An arch in the center of town make of Elkhorns, and the local Ford dealership.

We finally ditch going south out of Wyoming for cutting through Idaho and down in to Utah, thinking we have all the time in the world. Funny how you take time for granted. I remember thinking then, that we had all the time in the world that day, and only had to make it a decent way into Nevada before having to stop for the day.

Sights in Idaho, we weren’t there very long.

Hello Utah, our 12th state in 6 days. Was it really 12 states at this point? Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Idaho and now Utah. Oh wait, there was that quick jaunt in to Michigan looking for a bathroom and ending up in the wrong Sturgis. Make that 13 states in 6 days, and the day isn’t over yet, unfortunately.

There is a lake that runs north-south from Idaho to Utah called Bear Lake. It is high up in the mountains. There are parts of the lake that are Caribbean Sea blue. While we were up there it was odd, one half of the lake was under sunny skies, the other half under dark clouds. Before we could get in the car the grey skies won out and it started to rain. It was like the sky was crying way up there. Sometimes Mother Nature knows more than she lets on.

Onward from Bear Lake and down into Utah towards Salt Lake City and the Great Salt Lake. Turns out the Great Salt Lake is shrinking and really wasn’t awesome to see. Bear Lake was much more appealing.

I still had no cell service leaving SLC and into the Salt Flats. J’s phone was in and out, mostly in with 1 or 2 bars out here. Somehow the important calls always seem to get through even with no bars. At least they did today.

At this point in the day, we were all pretty quiet, no particular reason, just a lull in the excitement. It is bound to happen when you have jam-packed days in succession and the Salt Flats, while exciting when you are testing or racing cars, isn’t really much to look at.

Then J’s phone rang. Lull over, day over, trip over. Well, okay, the trip wasn’t over, we still had two more states to conquer, but being excited about seeing the sights was pretty much moot.

It was D, they long-time boyfriend of an old friend of ours from high school, L. L and J had rented a house together a few years back for a while. They had always stayed closer. To know L was to love her and still not always understand her. She could be so full of life and excitement one minute and quiet and withdrawn the next. She had been that way since I first met her back in middle school.

D was calling J to let her know L had passed away. The story was a bit complicated, and there were some questions as to some exact details, which are not for public reading. I will leave it as, she lost her lifelong fight with her demons.

So here we are, driving down the highway, and well, I am still not sure how J kept it together. She starts making some follow-up phone calls and sorting things out, at least in her head.

Hello Nevada, can you hear me now?

As we cross the border in to Nevada, two things happen. The dashboard clock automatically changes to the next time zone, and I get cell service back.

The problem with the time change is that I have told the kid he can resume playing his DS at 3:30. We crossed in to Nevada at 3 pm, except 3pm had just become 2pm. My son, not one to miss a beat, sees this as he has been watching the clock like a hawk.

Protests begin from the backseat. “Hey Mom, what just happened? How did I just lose time? Do I have to wait more time now before I can play again?” It is at this moment I am thankful for Nintendo and the games they make.

J and I had phone calls to make, and the poor kid was surely not bound to have much more fun today. I let him start playing early, feeling badly that the ultimate damper was just put on his awesome summer vacation move across the country trip.

Kid settled back into his games, I turn attentions to J. All I want to do is be able to stop the car and give her a big hug and let her cry her eyes out, but that isn’t J. She isn’t one have that kind of breakdown. She doesn’t do mushy. Sometimes I have thought her emotions made of steel. I admire her for her composure and her ability to not wear her emotions on her sleeve.

J is angry now. She is seething. She was much closer to L and knows first hand of the demons and the fight. There is nothing I can do to console someone who doesn’t want to be consoled, so I drive.

We go through the motions for another hundred miles or so, no one is counting at this point. We finally pull in to Elko, Nevada and find someplace to stay for the night. Unpack, dog duty, and off for a pretty crappy dinner, all things being equal.

We head back to our room that night and know California awaits us the next day. So does J’s trip back to New Jersey the day after and wake and funeral no one had planned on happening.

Day 6 had turned out to be bittersweet for me. One friend welcomed a baby girl in to this world, one friend left this world for the long goodnight.

With a little help from your friends

March 15, 2011 by Lori Leave a Comment

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. What an example that put in our little sponge-like brains. Watching the movie as an adult, it has a much different meaning than it did 30-something years ago.

As a wide-eyed 7-year-old, it was the stuff of fantasies and dreams. A pretty girl gets treated mean by an ugly hearted Queen, finds woodland creatures for support, stumbles upon 7 dwarfs who treat her like a princess and when she is tricked into eating the poison apple by the mean old witch, is saved by her Prince Charming on a white horse.

An adult sees a pampered princess who runs away from her problems and goes crazy in the woods and starts talking to animals. She stumbles upon a cottage and in her psychosis decides that what she needs to do in order to validate her feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, is to clean this house left a mess by 7 strange bachelors. Possibly one of them will appreciate the fact she can perform menial labor and find her worthy. What she finds are 7 odd men who are so happy to have a domestic they dote attention on her after finding her asleep on the job in their beds.

Even after the warnings by the bachelor brood of how the Queen can take many forms and will be coming after her, what does she do while baking a pie to win Grumpy’s heart? Does she smarten up and realize that she can’t live by beauty alone, but must start to toughen up and trust instinct? No, she invites in the first stranger who comes along, the Queen disguised as an old woman, takes an apple from her, and eats it. For a brunette, she sure doesn’t have much in the way of smarts.

Poor, disheartened dwarfs. All they can do is mourn their short-lived luck to have a live-in who works for room & board and isn’t terrible on the eyes. They build a glass casket and place her on a pedestal in the woods. Not only does she sleep the sleep of death, but when her Prince Charming arrives and stirs her from her slumber with a kiss, she awakens with not a hair out-of-place or morning breath.

So as she rides off into the sunset and a sure marriage to her hero and savior, all one can think is that man is that Prince lucky. She can cook, clean, sew, and isn’t afraid to try new things. He is a bit wary though, she has been living with 7 guys, and can he live up to the hype? Poor Prince Charming, sloppy 8^th’sfor him.

Come to think of it, the Wizard of Oz isn’t much of help either. There is another girl who runs away from her problems, consorts with a dirty old man she finds eating hot dogs and selling false dreams, gets caught in a storm, frightens her family, has hallucinogenic dreams, and finally realizes that home isn’t so bad after all.

If those two weren’t bad enough at screwing up our little psyches, look at Bambi. The poor little deer has to bear losing its mommy and growing up without the motherly wisdom. Thanks Walt Disney for that little life lesson at a tender young age.

All in all, it’s a wonder we aren’t laying in bed with the covers drawn over our heads, sucking our thumbs. The lessons that formed our outlook on fantasies, love and the realities around us showed us that above all, people are out to get us, we are alone from a young age, and if we sleep long enough, we will awake to Prince Charming and a happily ever after. Reality teaches us that with the support of good friends we can get through anything, surrounded by those good friends we are never alone in our journey, and while princes come and go, a true friend is forever.

Drama Queens and Wannabees

March 4, 2011 by Lori Leave a Comment

Life online is full of people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet walking down the street. You may pass by them while rushing off to an appointment, but you would never actually stop to talk to them. They fall into 5 categories.

Number one is the odd duck. This is the person who didn’t have many friends outside of AV club in high school, knows every original Star Trek episode by title and episode number and during a conversation will use anecdotes verbatim. They are generally great at games like trivial pursuit, but only the older editions and wouldn’t be able to tell you what’s contained in the controversial wording of the bill the Wisconsin governor is trying to get passed into legislation.

Number two is the pervert. Not your typical never looks you in the eye while talking to you, eagle eye for panty lines and camel toe kind of guy either. This is the guy who is usually married, but unfulfilled. He has fetishes, but was brought up to think they are taboo so doesn’t share them with his wife. Instead, in the privacy of his man-cave, will show his willy to whomever he can get to look at it while trying to stretch it farther than your grandmother could stretch out the leftovers from Sunday pot roast. He sometimes forays into his wife’s unmentionables drawer, not to sniff her panties, but to try them on.

Number three is the watcher. This is the guy who comes online to a video chat room, sans cam. He sits there in the privacy of his darkened room, armed with his baby oil and box of tissues and waits. Doesn’t say anything chat-worthy, but opens all the cams of the female chatters, looking for Ms. Right Now, or as a good Mormon might, a bevy of Mrs. Right Now. He has them up there, usually muting the chat room, and has his own personal orgiastic multi-screened one-off. Usually followed by the two off, three off, and on a good night might wipe out the whole box of Kleenex.

Number four is the drama queen. This person can be of either gender. This is the sad sack, the down-trodden, hates their job, their spouse, their life. Most people in this situation would seek guidance, from a spiritual source, a therapist, a good friend. Good old number four? They go online. Online they use that fount of anger and resentment and general unhappiness as their weapon. Armed with this potent arsenal they seek out groups of people, rooms of unsuspecting souls to unleash their weapons of mass distraction. Their only goal is to hide behind the anonymity of the internet to make others as unhappy as they can in order to feel better about themselves.

Number five, poor old number five. Number five just wants to be liked, sometimes even loved. They just want to feel like they fit in. Maybe they were late bloomers and don’t possess the social skills. Maybe they really are just alone and want a friend. Either way, this person will do anything to be accepted and liked. They are the wannabees. They want to be loved, they want to be popular, they want to have friends, and they want to feel like they belong. Belong to anything and anyone that will have them, and if it means being a joiner, so be it.

The internet is a wonderful invention. It has the capability to teach across boundaries, bring the world together as one, and unite those in faraway places in one voice. It has helped advance science, medicine, world democracy, and is a teaching tool that has yet to reach its full potential. They say the world is what we make it, and that each of us can mean something to more than just one person. If each of us on a daily basis gave an unsolicited smile to just one person, held the door open for the person behind us, kept the elevator door open an extra second, what a difference it might make. Maybe, just maybe, the information superhighway would be a little friendlier to navigate.

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